Moose in the Closet

How To Lower Your Expectations on Valentine's Day

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I tend shy away from, even mock, the cliche. But Valentine's Day is, in my humble opinion, the best day of the year to go full-out with the glaringly obvious. Ladies, I highly advocate not expecting men to buy you anything. Even the glaringly obvious. Here's why: If he does, you're pleasantly surprised. If he doesn't, you don't turn into a shrieking shrew. Maybe it's only me who turns into the shrieking shrew when I don't get what I want. I imagine you are all far more mature.

Besides, we're independent women and, damn it, we can take care of our own Godiva needs. If you think Valentine's equals red roses, buy them! Argue that it doesn't count because a man didn't buy it for you and I will laugh at you. Please don't make me laugh at you.

As the best presents are the ones you buy yourself, I found these (though did not actually buy them) on the knickers blog:

Those of you men who are contemplating buying your girl a little something and are intimidated by the task of purchasing underwear that is not boxer briefs, check out Becoming a Man Through Lingerie from the Morning News. Prices noted in article are exceedingly excessive. Just so you know.

Those of you who don't think V-Day merits such expenditures, a Snickers bar with a red ribbon will still win you points. Ladies, if you're buying the chocolate for yourself, get Godivas. You deserve them.

Alter Ego



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