Britney Spears has been mocked for everything from her choice in spouses to her choice of beverage. Why I can recall the fact that Britney got raked across the fires of Internet Wrath for drinking a Starbucks frappuccino when I can't be relied upon to remember my own zip code is beyond me. The point of contention may have been that Britney was drinking evil conglomerate coffee, that she was drinking coffee at all, or that she looked rather slovenly while doing it. I have absolutely no recollection. See above note about my faulty memory.

Somehow, this managed to catch my interest. Everyone goes to Starbucks or [insert politically correct independent coffee house here] looking slovenly. Unfortunately, the time-honored tradition of lambasting celebrities dictates that if you do so after selling lots of records, pictures of said slovenly faux pas will be plastered on the internet with blazing subtitles. I imagine the pain of this is offset by your staff of thousands, all of whom are paid to dress, cook and massage you into submission.

In the spirit of Britney, her sweat pants, and her evil corporate coffee, I bring you The Moose Guide on How To Dress if You're a Celebrity at Starbucks. Or anyone else at Starbucks.

Pair your favorite jeans or cords with this oatmeal cashmere wool sweater (on sale at blue fly).